A marriage in crisis may or may not have obvious signals that you may or may not pick up on. Too many variables make this a difficult situation to diagnose. On the surface, your marriage may seem stable, albeit a little stale, but that staleness can turn into irreparable damage before you know and squarely put your marriage in crisis.Notice all the signals and nuances of your marriage. While it is not the be-all and end-all of a marriage, the first area of consideration should be how your sex life progresses. A healthy marriage will involve sex that satisfies the both of you. If one or the other partner is not happy with your sex life, this may go unnoticed by the other partner and will eventually lead to an erosion in your communication, which is a sure path to ending up with a marriage in crisis.The sexual interaction of a marriage is a tell-tale point for the health of a relationship. How often you have sex, how personally fulfilled each partner feels, and timing are all important details. Are you having sex at all? These things will tell you whether or not yours is a marriage in crisis.The lives of busy people sometimes precludes spontaneity. This might lead to a need for scheduling sex in the relationship. While this is better than no sex at all, it is far from being as satisfying as the unscheduled, surprise moments when sex is spontaneous.Spontaneous sex cannot exactly be scheduled. Couple that with a hectic family life and no wonder sex becomes the first victim of a marriage in crisis. Children make finding time to have sex even more difficult, and tends to lead to scheduling alone time. As mentioned, it is better than nothing, but “arranging” for spontaneous sex would be a great way to revive yourselves if a marriage in crisis is something you really want to avoid.By arranging spontaneity, we mean making time available, not necessarily for sex, but for some quality alone time. Sex may or may not happen, but the intimacy that does happen is a great tonic for ailing relationships. In a marriage in crisis, spontaneity always takes a back seat to other needs, which leads to unfulfilled partners, unmet needs and dismal unhappiness.Partners who show little signs of affection throughout the day will revive the relationship and prevent the formation of the marriage in crisis. Touching, hugging, a little kiss on the cheek, saying, “I love you” out of the blue-these are spontaneous acts, albeit short ones, that will remind the partner that you are still there and that your marriage is still intact. In this way, the candle of love is not extinguished as it is in a marriage in crisis.These little things are easy enough to do, and may go a long ways towards preventing trouble in the marriage. Being reminded of your partner’s affection towards you (and vice-versa!) is good for the marriage. Good feelings lead to a desire to find more time together, and may help resuscitate a lethargic sex life, as well.Not acknowledging the partner is tantamount to telling them they no longer matter to you and will surely kill the marriage. Just being polite, using “please” and “thank you,” is normal for you to use with other people, why not with your spouse? If you find yourself saying these things to strangers and people outside your relationship, then you have a marriage in crisis. Don’t ever take your partner for granted.By recognizing the red flags of diminished intimacy, sex and time spent alone together, you can easily prevent having a marriage in crisis. What you do about it will determine success in reviving your marriage. Don’t make a big deal of it, just quietly go about the business of adding thoughtful gestures to your days and your partner will pick up on them.Be polite, be thoughtful and considerate and let your partner know you genuinely enjoy being with them, even in a crowd of screaming kids. Find ways to make love that are energizing for you both. If yours is a marriage in crisis, these are the things that will put you both back on the right path to happiness.
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